Goodbye, Tarantula

            Tarantula skittered from the snowy window into the dust-ridden bedroom. She paced left and right. She could sense the termites eating away at the bedframe, and the carpet beetles shimmying out the closet. But overlapping those signals was the mouse family’s squeaks: the voice of a mother comforting her children from the hailstorm. Tarantula left the room.

* * *

            After several hours exploring the nooks and crannies of the house, Tarantula found a cubby-hole on the floor beside the kitchen sink. She crawled in and allowed herself to get comfortable.

* * *

            The footsteps of an ant colony. She detected a line of them trooping past her. She swiped them into her mouth without hesitation. They scattered, and she lunged after a few more.

            When they were gone, she remained standing. Still as a stone.

            Minutes passed. Then she crawled back into her den.

* * *

            A high-pitched screech alerted her. It was followed by a second, crackly voice. She exited the den. The sound was laughter. Tarantula traveled to its location.

            She entered the living room and found, on the knotted carpet, a turtle lying on its back, and two ravens standing before it.

            “You buffoon!” One of the ravens said. “What, did you think you could run from us?”

            The living room was bustling with traffic. Tarantula could sense it. The roaches congregating under the furniture. The flies hovering by the molded wallpaper. She saw a stinkbug stroll past the turtle and the ravens.

            “If only we could rip you out of your shell,” the raven said.

            “Had our beaks been sharper,” the other raven said. “We’d pierce that meaty head of yours.”

            One of the ravens turned its gaze directly at Tarantula. Tarantula stood motionless. For minutes. Then she skittered back into the kitchen, back into her den.

* * *

            From a window, white light poured into the kitchen. Hail was replaced by snow flurries. From a hole in a tree, the cheerful chirps of sparrows. Remarks at the prettiness of the snow. The desire to fly out among it.

            Tarantula could sense this. Just as she could sense the presence of the ravens, still somewhere in the house. Just as she could deduce the turtle was still on its back.

* * *

            Hours passed before Tarantula left her den. When she did, she went straight to the living room, and flipped the turtle right side up again. At this, the turtle beamed.

            “Golly, thanks!” the turtle said. “Thank you so much! I thought I’d be scrambled like that forever!”

            Tarantula stood motionless. The snow continued outside the house. Tarantula turned. The turtle tried to mouth something, but couldn’t think of more to say.

            A blast of wind sounded and the turtled leaped into its shell. Angry caws echoed in the room. Then silence.

When the turtle poked its head out, Tarantula and the ravens were gone. The turtle stood and walked toward the open window.

            “Goodbye, Tarantula.”

The Joyous Islands of Exposition and Narration (or, You Can’t Swim Through Description Forever)

Looking at my current short story projects, I’ve realized some are all bite and no bark. In a few of these stories, I thrust my protagonist into action on page one, and other than their internal reactions to what’s going on, I don’t showcase their reflection on the past or their hopes for the future; nor do I show their abstract thoughts of the present. Ah, Dialogue and Description, you wiley beasts—you’ve overtaken my prose!

All is well. Well, all will be well. I’m going to go back and, between some paragraphs, add character thoughts. If you’re in a similar boat, I’d advise you add some exposition and narration too.

Here’s a good reason why. I’ve got a story going where my protagonist ends up in another world. Pretty crazy, right? But right now I just have him walking around and interacting with stuff, instead of using narration to freeze time and have him react to the strangeness of things—what would his mother think if she were there? And oh, what is his mother like? Even if we never met her, exposition like this enriches a story, and taking the time to narrate such details gives healthy space between bustling description or long stretches of dialogue.

I’m gonna go make these changes. Happy writing!

Word Choice Exercise #2

Here’s an attempt at an exercise I found in Henneke Duistermaat’s article, Word Choice: How to Play With Words (and Find Your Voice). You can find more exercises and tips on her website, enchantingmarketing.com.

Five Character Variations of: “I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …”

(1.

Hi good evening I’m Phil with Nurture our Nature would you be interested in signing to— *thunk*

(2.

Madame Iris sees all, through maw of her crystal ball. Come, stranger, I’ve been expecting you for some time now. Answer destiny… answer the spirit’s call!

(3.

You call that a sit-up? C’mon! You’re here to crush some iron witha hammer! If you’re gonna pick tulips I’ll throw you in the dirt myself!

(4.

James scratched his back with his left hand while holding the notepad in his right. He’d barely written a word of what the witness, who was still ranting, had said. What was Janice doing right now? Did she put the kids to sleep? Darn, sleep. James forgot to buy that eye mask at Rite Aid. With his left hand he wrote in his notepad, buy eye mask from Rite Aid.

(5.

Hello all. Thank you for stopping by tonight, to sooth your stresses and to gently revitalize your spirits. Yes, I thank you, but more important is that you thank yourselves. As we come down to child’s pose, let out one, long breath, and thank yourself until your breath is complete.

Word Choice Exercise #1

Here’s an attempt at an exercise I found in Henneke Duistermaat’s article, Word Choice: How to Play With Words (and Find Your Voice). You can find more exercises and tips on her website, enchantingmarketing.com.

Five Character Variations of: “I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …”

(1.

I’m a carpenter, yes, I just spotted mold by your electrical outlet, hm? I’m on a mission to do my job but with such a mess how can I do my job for you?

(2.

Hiya! I cashier here at Monae’s Boutique, so lovely of you to stop in! Is this for an anniversary or a first date? I can see the butterflies in your eyes—smile!—I’ve got just the flowers to make her day.

(3.

Yeah. I work at Monae’s, you lost? Well sorry, I don’t get paid to give directions, my job’s to sell flowers. The other employers trashed my resume.

(4.

I-I’m… Hi, I’m Caden. My mommy dropped me off for furst day school. I’m fourth grade…

(5.

Portia Clementine, junior reporter for the Onyx Observer, here to stomp the gas so your story will be free and be heard by millions of Americans and so your life will be saved.