Word Choice Exercise #1

Here’s an attempt at an exercise I found in Henneke Duistermaat’s article, Word Choice: How to Play With Words (and Find Your Voice). You can find more exercises and tips on her website, enchantingmarketing.com.

Five Character Variations of: “I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …”

(1.

I’m a carpenter, yes, I just spotted mold by your electrical outlet, hm? I’m on a mission to do my job but with such a mess how can I do my job for you?

(2.

Hiya! I cashier here at Monae’s Boutique, so lovely of you to stop in! Is this for an anniversary or a first date? I can see the butterflies in your eyes—smile!—I’ve got just the flowers to make her day.

(3.

Yeah. I work at Monae’s, you lost? Well sorry, I don’t get paid to give directions, my job’s to sell flowers. The other employers trashed my resume.

(4.

I-I’m… Hi, I’m Caden. My mommy dropped me off for furst day school. I’m fourth grade…

(5.

Portia Clementine, junior reporter for the Onyx Observer, here to stomp the gas so your story will be free and be heard by millions of Americans and so your life will be saved.

Second Sight

That was the last time I saw Mom’s smile. Now when she’s near, raspberry aura envelopes my retinas. It sways like a flag in the breeze, and perpetually manifests and evaporates.

Pitying glances, consoling words. They are more bitter or more sweet now, vibrating my earlobe, activating goosebumps. The doctor’s voice is the most harsh, coarse like a splinter-laden rug. His apologies to Mom or Dad are boulders jutted out a waterfall. Abrupt, brusque, insincere.

I feel their eyes land on me. It tickles, it hurts. When they speak I drown in the cinema they draw. An unending movie plays all the time in my mind. I am the camera and the protagonist. I lose myself in the plot. In the other characters.

But when I hear Mom say it’ll be okay, the burgundy wisp returns and dwindles. Kindness of alien light warms my insides.

Construction Variations #1: To ___ Is To ___

Five Examples of the Preset Pattern’s Variations

(1.

Ah, young pupil. To fail is to improve. No artist gets it right on the first try.

(2.

To feel the frigid winds whilst dangling upside-down by bungee cord’s half-inch thread is to feel every victory and mishap, every warm tear and cold kiss, every memory rush in and out of consciousness within seconds.

(3.

Eh, whaddya gonna do? “To love is to lose” or somethin’, amiright?

(4.

To slip in my pronunciation of that single syllable for two seconds in that thirty-minute speech is basically to pee my pants in a $400 dollar blazer.

(5.

To run outside but get stung by bees anyway is to be 10, free, and alive…! Now I let the bees sting me and don’t protest.

Literary Devices: Hypotaxis

Definition: “Hypotaxis also called subordinating style, is a grammatical and rhetorical term used to describe an arrangement of phrases or clauses in a dependent or subordinate relationship — that is, phrases or clauses ordered one under another. In hypotactic constructions, subordinating conjunctions and relative pronouns serve to connect the dependent elements to the main clause.” – ThoughtCo.

Dependent clauses contain subordinating conjunctions, like “when,” “because,” and “though,” as in, “though he liked ice cream.” The clause is dependent because it cannot stand alone as a sentence; it requires a main clause to make it make sense: “though he liked ice cream, he wasn’t hungry.

Hypotaxis is stacking multiple dependent clauses before the main clause: “though he liked ice cream because it tasted delicious, especially when it had sprinkles, he wasn’t hungry.

Why It’s Useful: Stacking dependent clauses in the beginning of a sentence is like the wind-up of a punch–done correctly, the main clause will hit with immense force.

Five Examples of Hypotaxis in Action

(1.

Although Mary sounds heavenly when she sings on-stage, her pre-teen voice gets just as screechy and crooked as all the other kids in her grade.

(2.

To K. Levin, who was a comic I used to open for when I was a beginner—though back then he was a beginner, too, just a damn funny one—it seemed obvious where to insert a punchline.

(3.

Where you were born when the war was taking place said a lot about your future.

(4.

That I remembered where my keys were when my roommate asked me surprised him.

(5.

When Devon found out his wallet was stolen by the same guy he gave directions to, the guy who had the gray, muck-splotched jean jacket with holes in it, the guy who had an optimism in his voice, like his hope would thrust him toward his university aspirations like a clown from a cannon—although the guy didn’t seem reckless like a clown: his clasped palms as he spoke hinted he was a cautious man—the guy who wiped his temples while Devon spoke, wiped them, Devon, assumed, to keep the tears out of his eyes as Devon loaned him $30 to catch a cab, Devon himself almost teary-eyed after hearing his story—when Devon found out his wallet that had a rare photo of his daughter and his last two credit cards was stolen, he forgot where he was and collapsed on the ground as he let out his scream.

Mind Equals Matter

The mind, too, is a muscle. Like the opening and closing of the palm, every thought is electrical currents, a physical reaction—one that is immediate, the style of which is determined by usage and habit, like the habitual sloucher versus the sloucher who tries to sit up versus the athlete who’s developed good posture through training.

The mind, too, is a muscle, so with workouts and rest and consistency, it can grow strong, strong in any number of ways, strong like the hulking bodybuilder, the adept martial artist, the determined endurance runner, et cetera, et cetera…


Photo by Couleur on Pexels.com

When I’m reminded that the mind runs on physical reactions, I become fascinated and scared. Just living is a big responsibility, right? To be happy, we must strive to always think positive and always defeat the negative. We aren’t robots; we can’t code optimism software and let a program solve everything; it gets easier, but we must always do the work. Otherwise, the brain will turn to alternative thoughts.

In my nonfiction story, These Are Lessons To Be Relearned: Self-Love And Running, I said a classmate showed me a video of a soldier’s head coming off. He laughed. I backed away. How could someone watch something so cruel?

Think of slouching. I used to slouch, but I never realized it: my back always felt normal. Once I saw a video of myself, I realized how I had walked through the world. I began working out and my posture improved. Some people are unaware of negative influences. If they start thinking positive and practicing self-forgiveness, the currents in their brain will run differently; their mind state will improve.

I clear space in my room when I need to reflect. I take deep breaths, recall negative thoughts I had earlier in the day, and overwrite them. I said X in my head earlier, but that’s because I felt Y. I know Y doesn’t define me. Then I look for reasons to smile. Practicing self-love is work, but it gets easier. Easier in the same way that exercising does with consistency. Eventually, it’ll become a habit.