Tag: Writing Tips

Good Nouns Go a Long Way

~ Jamal H. Goodwin Jr. ~ Leave a comment

Adjectives may be strong, but nouns are powerful. With a good noun, you can go an entire story with an adjective.

Adjectives are strong, but sometimes they can be weak. Take the phrases below for example:

“a funny guy”

“a guy who is funny“

Both examples are helpful describg the noun (“guy”) but they are also flawed. In the first phrase, if the page cut off after the adjective “funny,” readers would be confused. A funny what? T-shirt? Song?

The second example shares this flaw. It uses an relative clause (“who is _”) which functions as an adjective, since it describes the noun. It’s a handy technique, but if the page cut off anywhere after “guy” and before “funny,” readers would be lost. Imagine if after the “is” was information that never again gets revealed in a story. The sentence could read: “A guy who is a fan of sentimental operas, though he tends not share this with others.” But readers would only see “a guy who is” and never be fufilled. Ah, the unaddressed suspense…!

Don’t get me wrong, adjectives are great. They can be excellent descriptors, with phrases like “a witty guy” or “a guy who has a wry sense of humor.” But they hold nouns back.

With a good noun in a phrase, you don’t need an adjective:

“A prankster“

“A comedian“

“An impressionist“

In one word, a reader has learned information that previously required two words.

Whenever you’re revising your work, it’s always a good idea to look at the adjectives you’ve used and decide if they work good or if they could swapped out for a better noun. Happy writing, and seeya next time!

The Joyous Islands of Exposition and Narration (or, You Can’t Swim Through Description Forever)

~ Jamal H. Goodwin Jr. ~ Leave a comment

Looking at my current short story projects, I’ve realized some are all bite and no bark. In a few of these stories, I thrust my protagonist into action on page one, and other than their internal reactions to what’s going on, I don’t showcase their reflection on the past or their hopes for the future; nor do I show their abstract thoughts of the present. Ah, Dialogue and Description, you wiley beasts—you’ve overtaken my prose!

All is well. Well, all will be well. I’m going to go back and, between some paragraphs, add character thoughts. If you’re in a similar boat, I’d advise you add some exposition and narration too.

Here’s a good reason why. I’ve got a story going where my protagonist ends up in another world. Pretty crazy, right? But right now I just have him walking around and interacting with stuff, instead of using narration to freeze time and have him react to the strangeness of things—what would his mother think if she were there? And oh, what is his mother like? Even if we never met her, exposition like this enriches a story, and taking the time to narrate such details gives healthy space between bustling description or long stretches of dialogue.

I’m gonna go make these changes. Happy writing!

Sensory Sentences Exercise #1

~ Jamal H. Goodwin Jr. ~ Leave a comment

Using Sensory Words to Create Vivid Scenes

(1.

Silver wax oozed from the crevice of the door, clammed shut thanks to my flamethrower.

(2.

It was my mistake to guide the children to the roaring music hall, where bellows hoisted violin strums on their backs and where the madness drowned out the screams of the 2nd graders.

(3.

Alix trained hard, for months, chucking rocks to build biceps, dismantling Legos to construct meteorite wrists, til he was finally bulked and poised with a pencil to launch the final bullet to his Chemistry exam, the impact starting a fire that smelled old and musky, but the completion of his mission placed a buttery taste on his tongue.

(4.

The grilled cheese sizzled on the pan, murmuring secrets only the flies could hear. Its greased surface threw white back at the light bulbs; oil droplets popped up, fell down, slid like ice atop the pan and beside the sandwich. The bread was tan, black along the sides, and carried a charring-hot taste—not because it was cooking but because red pepper seeds were peppered throughout the melty orange cheese. It carried the smell of a quesadilla.

(5.

His phone twinkled from the hill’s bottom, guiding me like the north star to safety from this freezing forest.

Word Choice Exercise #2

~ Jamal H. Goodwin Jr. ~ 3 Comments

Here’s an attempt at an exercise I found in Henneke Duistermaat’s article, Word Choice: How to Play With Words (and Find Your Voice). You can find more exercises and tips on her website, enchantingmarketing.com.

Five Character Variations of: “I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …”

(1.

Hi good evening I’m Phil with Nurture our Nature would you be interested in signing to— *thunk*

(2.

Madame Iris sees all, through maw of her crystal ball. Come, stranger, I’ve been expecting you for some time now. Answer destiny… answer the spirit’s call!

(3.

You call that a sit-up? C’mon! You’re here to crush some iron witha hammer! If you’re gonna pick tulips I’ll throw you in the dirt myself!

(4.

James scratched his back with his left hand while holding the notepad in his right. He’d barely written a word of what the witness, who was still ranting, had said. What was Janice doing right now? Did she put the kids to sleep? Darn, sleep. James forgot to buy that eye mask at Rite Aid. With his left hand he wrote in his notepad, buy eye mask from Rite Aid.

(5.

Hello all. Thank you for stopping by tonight, to sooth your stresses and to gently revitalize your spirits. Yes, I thank you, but more important is that you thank yourselves. As we come down to child’s pose, let out one, long breath, and thank yourself until your breath is complete.

Word Choice Exercise #1

~ Jamal H. Goodwin Jr. ~ Leave a comment

Here’s an attempt at an exercise I found in Henneke Duistermaat’s article, Word Choice: How to Play With Words (and Find Your Voice). You can find more exercises and tips on her website, enchantingmarketing.com.

Five Character Variations of: “I’m a … and I’m on a mission to …”

(1.

I’m a carpenter, yes, I just spotted mold by your electrical outlet, hm? I’m on a mission to do my job but with such a mess how can I do my job for you?

(2.

Hiya! I cashier here at Monae’s Boutique, so lovely of you to stop in! Is this for an anniversary or a first date? I can see the butterflies in your eyes—smile!—I’ve got just the flowers to make her day.

(3.

Yeah. I work at Monae’s, you lost? Well sorry, I don’t get paid to give directions, my job’s to sell flowers. The other employers trashed my resume.

(4.

I-I’m… Hi, I’m Caden. My mommy dropped me off for furst day school. I’m fourth grade…

(5.

Portia Clementine, junior reporter for the Onyx Observer, here to stomp the gas so your story will be free and be heard by millions of Americans and so your life will be saved.